"The co-founder of the Gottman Institute who, alongside her husband John, turned relationship research into eight guided conversations."
Julie Schwartz Gottman is an American clinical psychologist and co-founder of the Gottman Institute, where she has spent decades researching and teaching evidence-based approaches to building healthy relationships alongside her husband, John Gottman. Together, the Gottmans developed the widely used Gottman Method for couples therapy, training thousands of therapists worldwide in techniques grounded in their combined research. Their book "Eight Dates," co-written together, translates that research into eight structured conversations covering trust, conflict, money, and other essential relationship topics, designed to help couples—whether newly dating or decades into marriage—build deeper understanding through intentional, guided dialogue.
Our in-depth summaries and reviews of his work
Eight Dates by John and Julie Gottman provides eight structured conversations backed by 40+ years of research to deepen trust, intimacy, and…
Read Summary →Gottman argues that intentionally revisiting core topics—trust, conflict, money, dreams—keeps couples genuinely known to each other rather than relying on assumptions.
Taking responsibility for even a small part of a miscommunication opens the door to genuine repair before resentment builds.
Gottman encourages partners to keep asking questions and stay curious about each other's inner world, since people continue changing throughout a relationship.
"Successful long-term relationships are created through small words, small gestures, and small acts."— Eight Dates
"Make dedicated, nonnegotiable time for each other a priority, and never stop being curious about your partner."— Eight Dates
"Happily ever after simply means that both partners are known, valued, accepted for who they are and who they are becoming."— Eight Dates
Eight Dates by John and Julie Gottman provides eight structured conversations backed by 40+ years of research to deepen trust, intimacy, and connection in any relationship.
