"Most people are only as needy as their unmet needs."
Amir Levine, M.D. is a psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and professor at Columbia University. With Rachel Heller, he co-authored Attached, which applies decades of attachment research to adult romantic relationships and has introduced millions of readers to the language of attachment styles.
Our in-depth summaries and reviews of his work
Discover your attachment style and learn why some relationships feel effortless while others feel impossible. Practical strategies from neuroscience research.
Read Summary →Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant attachment styles — formed in childhood — shape how adults handle closeness, conflict, and separation in romantic relationships.
The more effectively two partners depend on each other, the more independent and daring each individual becomes — security isn't the opposite of independence, it enables it.
Attachment patterns are visible within the first few dates. Learning to spot Anxious and Avoidant signals early saves years spent trying to fix an incompatible dynamic.
"Instead of thinking how you can change yourself in order to please your partner, as so many relationship books advise, think: Can this person provide what I need in order to be happy?"— Attached
"The trick is not to get hooked on the highs and lows and mistake an activated attachment system for passion or love. Don't let emotional unavailability turn you on."— Attached
"If you're unhappy after having tried every way to make things work, chances are that you should move on."— Attached
"Feeling close and complete with someone else — the emotional equivalent of finding a home."— Attached
Discover your attachment style and learn why some relationships feel effortless while others feel impossible. Practical strategies from neuroscience research.
