
How to Know a Person Summary & Review: The Art of Truly Seeing Others
David Brooks's How to Know a Person shows how to become an "Illuminator" — someone whose attention makes people feel truly seen.…
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"New York Times columnist and author of The Road to Character"
David Brooks is a New York Times columnist, PBS NewsHour commentator, and the author of several bestselling books on culture, character, and the moral life, including The Road to Character and The Second Mountain. Before turning to social and cultural criticism, he worked as a reporter and editor at The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Times, and The Weekly Standard. Brooks teaches at Yale University and is a member of the Aspen Institute. How to Know a Person (2023) grew out of his own experience of feeling unseen during a painful period of his life, and out of years spent studying what separates people who make others feel understood from those who leave them feeling invisible.

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David Brooks's How to Know a Person shows how to become an "Illuminator" — someone whose attention makes people feel truly seen.…
Read Summary →Some people make you feel bigger and more yourself when you talk to them; others make you feel smaller. The difference is a learnable set of habits.
The deepest way to help someone is often to walk beside them through a hard season, not to fix their problem for them.
"The biggest gift you can give another person is your attention."— How to Know a Person

David Brooks's How to Know a Person shows how to become an "Illuminator" — someone whose attention makes people feel truly seen. Key takeaways, a 7-day plan, and practical tender questions.